CHADLABS Scholarly Hub
Chapter 19 – Panic and Retreat
Eleanor
The flight back from Chicago was quiet.
Too quiet.
Marcus sat beside her in first class, his broad shoulders brushing hers now and then. He was reading reports, occasionally making a note in the margin. She pretended to do the same. But her pen hovered uselessly above her page.
She couldn’t concentrate. Not when her body still hummed with the memory of him. Not when the scent of his skin still clung to hers.
She’d woken in his bed, tangled in sheets and limbs, and for a fleeting second, she’d let herself pretend.
Pretend they were just two people in love. That there wasn’t a five-year-old boy with violet-blue eyes. That she wasn’t drowning in secrets.
But then reality had pressed itself against her ribcage like a fist.
She’d dressed in silence, lips still swollen, heart still reeling.
And he hadn’t stopped her.
He hadn’t said anything.
Just watched her go.
Now, back in the office, she shut herself off completely.
She became a machine.
Emails. Calendars. Conference calls. Travel logistics.
No eye contact. No lingering glances. No scent of custom perfume.
She wore her hair up every day, dressed in neutrals, and spoke only when spoken to. She might as well have worn armor.
And Marcus?
He let her.
He watched her fade behind her professionalism. Watched her turn herself into a shadow. But he said nothing.
Until the fifth day.
When he asked her to step into his office to review next quarter’s presentation.
She entered, spine straight, pulse trembling.
He didn’t look up right away. Just stood at the window, hands clasped behind his back, staring at the skyline like it had wronged him.
Finally, he spoke.
His voice was quiet. Controlled. Dangerous.
“What are we doing, Eleanor?”
Her chest tightened. “We're working.”
He turned, eyes dark. “Don’t.”
“I don’t know what you expect me to say.” She crossed her arms, but her voice betrayed her. Too soft. Too shaky.
“How about the truth?”
She shook her head. “There is no truth here. Just a very big mistake.”
He stepped forward. “Is that what it was to you?”
“I can’t—” Her voice cracked. “I can’t do this. You’re my boss.”
“Funny. That wasn’t an issue when your legs were around me.”
Her breath caught like a punch to the ribs.
His eyes instantly filled with regret. “Shit. That was—Eleanor, I didn’t mean—”
But she was already backing away.
“No. You did. And you’re right. That’s all it was.”
She turned and left before the tears could betray her.
Marcus
He didn’t see her again for the rest of the day.
And he hated it.
Hated the way she folded herself back into her walls. Hated the way she pretended not to remember how she’d whispered his name, how her hands had clawed at his shoulders like she couldn’t get close enough.
But most of all, he hated the ache in his chest.
Because it wasn’t just about the sex.
It hadn’t been since the first time he saw her in his office.
Hell, maybe not even since the ball.
Something about her had pulled at him, burrowed under his skin and stayed there.
Now she was slipping through his fingers, and he didn’t know how to stop it.
He’d tried playing it cool. Tried pretending he wasn’t watching her retreat, day by day. But watching her flinch away from his touch, from his words… it did something to him.
The night after the argument, he drove aimlessly for hours.
Ended up at the gym. Then at a bar. Then at the building where she lived.
He didn’t get out of the car.
Didn’t even text her.
Just stared at the soft glow of her window.
Something was wrong. More than just regret.
She wasn’t just avoiding him.
She was terrified.
And he didn’t know why.
But he was going to find out.
Eleanor
That night, she packed Leo’s overnight bag.
Called her mother. Told her she needed Leo to stay with them for a few days.
A white lie.
She said it was because of work.
But the truth was simpler. Sharper.
She couldn’t risk Marcus seeing Leo.
Not now.
Not when he was already looking at her like he was trying to solve a puzzle.
Because if he saw Leo—really saw him—everything would unravel.
The shape of his jaw. The tilt of his chin.
And those unmistakable eyes.
She pressed a trembling hand to her mouth.
One reckless night had become her whole life.
And it was starting to collapse.
